This topic was inspired by the "insults" thread. We live in a time where people can spew some pretty harsh criticisms and often can do so from the safety of a pseudonym and a remote location. For some of us sensitive artist types it can sometimes be quite damaging to endure that kind of negativity.

I have not yet ventured into making Stick Performance videos, but hope to do so in the not too distant future. The only performance footage I have online is of my old band playing a festival in 2004. Within the first 24 hours of putting it up on YouTube, I had already had a total stranger make snarky comments at our song "Asleep at the Wheel" (the title track of our 2003 album), because he randomly tripped across it while searching the bluegrass/country band of the same name.

While in my "cover band phase" I became known in our little house party circuit for singing Alice in Chains' "Man in the Box", because I could hit the high B flat(or in our case B, because we played it in standard tuning, instead of a half step down). Once after a set, I was stopped by a girl that told me, even though I did okay, that I'm still "no Layne Staley". Not that I ever claimed to be in the first place. I didn't know how to respond to that comment, so I just said, "Of course I'm not. He's dead, I'm still alive." and walked away. Maybe she was actually trying to hit on me?! I don't know, but things like that immediately get my back up and I seem instinctively to switch to "attack mode"

Now I've been asked to sing a duet at a friend's wedding in the fall, where I will be singing a John Legend part and I feel a bit intimidated. Not because I feel like Mr Legend is a significantly better singer than I am, but it will be a challenge for a "white rocker" like me to match his "black soul". Like Layne Staley, I feel like I'm going to be battling people's preconceived notions of what it's supposed sound like, and how it might be coloured by how some people feel about John Legend, aside from just how he sings.

...But that's my story. What's yours? How do you handle people tearing at something so closely bound to your heart and soul?

Read what Miles had to say:

http://acousmata.com/post/51155619648/m ... -fuck-yall

And then revert to the safest response.

"Thanks for checking it out"

Your critics might just be mean-spirited mo-fos, or they might be your best friends. Anonymous criticism is worthless, but if someone actually wants to speak to your face about something, take what you can from it.

For example, maybe she thought you were trying to sound like Layne Stanley. Maybe the message is that you need to make the song more your own. this is really tough to do when you are in a "cover band", and the goal is to present music in a really recognizable way.

Don't let YouTube get you down. there's a reason why Facebook doesn't have a "dislike" button.

Thanks, Greg. You were actually top of mind while I wrote that piece, since you have shared a few stories in the past about being harshly criticized and are one of the most well-known stickists in the world.

My gut is the "Layne Staley" comment was based on that person's strong feelings toward that particular artist and the special place his music has in their life. That's why I used it as a lead in to my "John Legend anxiety".

Greg, that Mile Davis quote has just become my favorite of many of his!

This part here:

It's too hard to accept that the world has moved on from [insert roots here]. I struggle with it when I listen to the radio, and then remember that a lot of radio always used to suck. But there's seriously good stuff going on even in the pop world (loved that Bruno Mars bass line just like you did--thanks for that!)

As for criticism, I want to believe that I can take it and want it, but I admit--and have vigorously displayed (sorry!)--that when comments veer towards things you hoped and wished were extraneous to the performance--things like the way your hair looks or the way your sound level is mixed--when you have poured out your creative heart and soul, man that's tough to take. But you open yourself up to any sort of criticism and just hope that your audience is kind enough to ignore your posture (or at least not bring it up as their first or only comment), or that you flubbed that repeat a little.

But comments about your technique--particularly if you're asking "What do you think about how am doing this?" should be welcome, even if you don't like what you hear.

I admit I veer towards gushing praise more than scoffing criticism on most of this forum--but that's easy to do when everyone tries so hard and is so awesome!--but all gloves are off over at The Lounge, where things (and bad language) can get a little heated--particularly if Kevmodeus Rex is picking apart your finely-crafted arguments with his Warr scalpel. But I'd like to think we try to keep our criticism as "fair" as possible--okay, that was bull--no way we do!

I'm a big fan of the sandwich style of criticism: something good I liked, something I didn't like or didn't understand, something working well. It's the same model of criticism that we teach in literary theory and creative writing. Boy, talk about people who can't take criticism (writers)! I've been in many different creative fields at once for a long time but there's a lot of overlap between the musicians and the writers and the artists. We're all sensitive needy types that are dying for someone to say "Wow!" instead of "Layne Staley? You're no him." BTW, I bet she was just a huge fan (of him) and totally didn't think how hurtful that comment was. I see you just said the same thing as I was typing this.

I must point out that many of our critics are drunk or high--just sayin'. That works for us and against us musicians when we play publicly at parties and bars.

I have received a mixed bag of criticism for my playing. The worst for me is no criticism at all. I mean please, say something. Then there were other times when I received negatives about being in tune, or tone or something I was not focused on at the time. I then listened to the music of the criticizer and found myself not liking his music either. From it I learned to make certain to be in tune and avoid horrible tone to prevent alienating some listeners right off the bat.

When I listen to a Stick video, I take into account that most of these are from players in the beginning of the learning process. This means to me that my comments should focus on what they have learned, and what the next step for learning could be. It is especially challenging for me to interpret some of the music when it is stylistically different from my preferences or if it is multi-tracked, especially with synthetic instruments.

I started out in 1963 playing guitar in blues/rock bands and top 40 bands 6 sets a night 6 nights a week for about 10 years in nightclubs up and down the east coast followed by another 30 years behind a pedal steel or mandolin touring in country and americana bands and verbal insults were the least of my concerns. Music critics even less so. I've been punched out,had lit cigarettes flicked in my face,ashtrays and bottles thrown at me on the bandstand,tires slashed,wheel lugs loosened,instruments and amps stolen off the stage during intermission,my girlfriend assaulted on the dance floor while I tried to play a steel solo and more. Anyone my age who made a living playing music night after night,year after year in night clubs full of drunk people thru the 60s,70s,80s & 90s will tell you the same things. As I was telling Gene last week when I saw him fending off a heckler who grabbed a mic and wanted to "sing" along with his solo Stick set - you gotta learn to do your own bouncing and don't let it shake you up. Same goes with critics. I've had people tell me I sucked out loud and a couple times maybe I did - especially when I was working up a new instrument. It just made me want to get that together ASAP so at least I knew I didn't suck. That's about all you can do. Thick skin (and a little scar tissue) is required in this biz.

I don't get criticized very much, probably due to the fact that I'm not very good. I'm hoping that as I grow people might pay attention enough to offer a criticism or two. I have been terrified of playing solo music in front of people my entire life. Being afraid of the comments was a big reason for my fear. One of the reasons I took up Stick at a later age was I didn't like that about myself. I wanted to face those fears and beat them. I had to accept that people, including my own family, would think I sucked for a long time. One of my favorite moments of my entire life was when one of my daughters said to me, "Dad, you don't suck as much as you used to." That will be one of my all-time favorite compliments!

-Eric

Daughters are brutal critics. Mine's 13. I saw Ben Afleck on The Late show talking about how his daughters all couldn't understand why anyone would care about him because he was so ordinary--such a...DAD. Cheers, Eric!

And Captain Strings, might I just take off my hat and salute your years of road service. You rock! And rocked, and dodged, and ran after that creep, and....Highest props to you!

My mother told me if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. you don't know what kind of day that person just had. After a performance, one is an elevated state, I know you all know what I am talking about. Why would you try to detract from that? To elevate yourself?

BTW, for those of you who were not at NAMM Stick Night 2016, there was some guy who decided to come mid song during Japhlet's set and just start singing. That just happened to be the last song in their set, so they wrapped up and headed for the bar. I asked him, "do you know that guy?", to which he replied with a polite smile - No. I let him know that would not happen again.

So it was later in the evening and everyone had had a chance to perform, so I plugged in, no effects, straight into the board to share Corcovado cause that's what I was feeling at the moment. This same guy walks up on the mic like he's going to start singing. Now mind you, he was not displaying any signs of being sedated - seemed normal to me, so I looked at him and said "Please don't". After which, he just stood there holding the mic, like I was going to queue him in. At this point, my dissatisfaction was apparent TO EVERYONE, and I noticed that Steve Adelson was getting ready to check out. He smiled and moved the mic away from the guy, gave me a wink and said, don't stop Gene. This was very reassuring.

Still, this guy is up there bobbing his head and I could tell, he was getting ready to make an ass of himself and start singing. Now, Robin had put in a considerable of time and energy in putting this together, as did I, and I was not in a charitable mood. We have LOTS of friends that would love to share music on a Stick Night and anyone that knows me knows that I try to include anyone who's sensitive to the fact that EVERYONE wants to play, but we only have a short period of time in which to do it. That night, we were blessed with a great performance by Vance Gloster who I had been hoping to include in one of our events - he nailed it! But he also asked me earlier in the day and when I let him know we were short on time, he was very respectful of what Robin and I had worked on. Guess what, delighted to have him play ON TOP OF WHICH we owe him a big Stick hug for being the spearhead of the StickWire which was the first Chapman Stick Social Media source that I am aware of.

So back to that unpleasant moment - I'm into the second verse and I just stop and I lood him in the eye and say - "Do you fucking mind, I am trying to put on a show" and followed up with "Get the fuck away from the mic and go sit down".

And then it got good. He went and sat back down.

The guy killed the moment though. It's this loving, sentimental piece and this person had just ruined the moment for me. I recall his name badge (as he was there for NAMM), it was Dave. I think Matt Tate kinda summed it up - that guy needed to hear that from someone. Afterward, I got a very reassuring reminder from Michael Johnstone (Cp'n Strings) that he would be first into the fray if that guy tried that again. Mike had this far away look like he was kinda hoping he'd hop up there. I hoped for Dave's sake that he would not again attempt an uninvited duo.

Sorry for the rant. I'm not sure I've really revisited that moment since last week. So, regarding Criticism - here are my closing thoughts...

Friendly criticism from someone that you know, or from someone you don't know that leads an opinion with "may I share some constructive criticism?" probably genuinely thinks that you can do better and wants to see you do better. Criticism that tries to make you feel inadequate, unoriginal or that does not recognize your effort is only being said to make themselves feel better at your expense, nothing more.

"managing criticism" implies there is criticism to manage.... Simple.... Stop taking it personally. Understand, it has more to do with the person hurling the criticism or insults than it has to do with you.....