Re: A little help from y'all on a tune I'm working on...
Jayesskerr wrote:
So yeah, here it is presented in it's most basic form so far (audio clay?) Lemme know what you think, feel free to be absolutely merciless with your suggestions...
Okay, Scott, I missed this completely back in August when you first posted this.
SoundCloud Rant on/SoundCloud won't let me repeat a song either, Mike! I have to refresh the page by hitting the F5 key to get the web browser to reload it. SoundCloud sucks, and I hate that every time someone follows me, it turns out they're a spammer, or a would-be sex-kitten for hire. Half of my likes and follows are from people trying to pimp their own stuff. And SoundCloud's not even free anymore, because I think I pay $50 a year to them for the pay version, to allow me to change the song file of postings. I prefer to upload new improved versions, rather than having 34 versions, or having to kill the old version to replace it with a new one. And it keeps links intact.
SoundCloud rant off/But enough about why I suck for missing this altogether back in August (as you said, summer is busy!), and enough about why SoundCloud sucks. Let's look at the song! (Which does NOT suck.)
I like the classical vibe of riff A. Your bass is righteous and minimal, and the melody works well, to include the run that joins the part A with B.
I do not like part B. That melody/riff doesn't do much for me. We all have different tastes, but if you're asking for my taste, B would die altogether, to be replaced by a better B. You've got a C through triple Z in your bag of composition diamond nuggets, and Mr. Jackson, my Composition professor/mentor/sensei, said "Never get too attached to notes." (Rest his cranky, rock-hating, bastard soul--even if he isn't dead yet).
I'm digging every second up until :20. And then I'm back to lovin' it at :35 to the end. But :20 through :35, the B section, would be cut to the floor. Or carpet, in Steve's studio/basement/Mancave/Fractal Palace of Wonder.
Also, I didn't get this as "jazz and blues," but more of "classical" or "neo-classical." And/or Prog rock. Which you know I'm down with the classical feel to my rock, or my New Age Progressive, or my Prog Rock.
And labeling is such an unimportant part of the process (or I'd be better at it), but I didn't get either a blues or jazz feel from this.
So, wrapping up: A is great; bridge transition into and out of B was great, but you could probably slide in a new C-through-triple-Z (pick one) to replace riff B--he ain't working (for me).
Sorry I didn't get you some feedback earlier. It might be too late.
By the way, huge Grieg fan and I played a bunch of his stuff in music undergrad when I first started learning (to read) piano music (along with mainly Bach, of course). Did some (a lot!) of the Peer Gynt Suite. And then as an English grad student, I studied Ibsen and Peer Gynt, so look at me! What a lot of liberal education that I've never used since until this exact moment (I could talk about the Kierkegaardian onion and what it represents to the many layers of Post-Modern identity and Peer Gynt staring at his hands and the symbolism...yadd yadda..yawns while putting himself to sleep).
But all of that Grieg background was to say "Didn't feel like this sounded all that Grieg-gy." Which is a thing. And it didn't sound very Greggy either (Howard--now I'm being silly).
Keep rocking it out, and you know I think you have awesome musical taste and ability, and an eye and ear for composition, and you're a friend, so take my thoughts along with a few grains of salt and maybe a hit of acid or bourbon. Or some fractals. I can help you with 2 out of the three, and I don't really drink, so I can offer a fractal or twelve.
Show us all where this goes, Scott! Can't wait to see where you take it! You're my hero!
(By the way, little known fact: Edvard Grieg and Samuel Clemens AKA Mark Twain are actually the same person!)*
*This statement is false, as is the next footnote after this.**
**This statement is also false.***
***I've now created a logical paradox, and probably destroyed your CPU.
--Steve